Written by: Gareth Roberts & Clayton Hickman
Directed by: Gary Russell
Featuring: Sixth Doctor & Mel
Release Date: December 2001
*Warning: This review contains spoilers of the plot.*
The One Doctor is available to listen to on Spotify or Audible. It can also be purchased on the Big Finish website through the below link:
https://www.bigfinish.com/releases/v/doctor-who-the-one-doctor-651
Summary (from Big Finish)
When the evil Skelloids launch an attack upon the seventeen worlds of the Generios system, its peace-loving inhabitants face total destruction.
So it’s fortunate that the famous traveller in time and space known only as the Doctor is in the area, and doubly lucky that, with the help of his pretty young assistant, Sally-Anne, he manages to defeat the deadly creatures and save the day.
But now it looks as though the Doctor’s luck has run out.
Who is the mysterious, curly-haired stranger who insists on causing trouble? What role does the feisty redhead Melanie play in his scheme? And what have they to do with the sinister alien cylinder approaching Generios?
One thing is certain: for the Doctor and Sally-Anne, there’s deadly danger ahead…
Introduction
Released for Christmas 2001, The One Doctor is a present to all its listeners. Not only is it extremely funny, but it has some great character moments and sound design. This is definitely one that I would recommend to all fans of classic Doctor Who.
Plot
“Yeah, yeah… I’m the Doctor, you’re the Doctor, we’re all the flippin’ Doctor.”
Banto Zame
Usually in these reviews, the plot is the biggest section, as there can be many plot threads to analyse. Here, the story is simple but very effective. As a reminder, the following section contains spoilers.
Arriving on Generios 1 after picking up a distress call, the Doctor (Colin Baker) and Mel (Bonnie Langford) are too late, as the villainous Skelloids have already been vanquished. The person who defeated these creatures was the Doctor, or so the people believe. Contrary to the plot summary from Big Finish, this intrigue is resolved almost immediately. The Doctor is actually a con artist called Banto Zame (Christopher Biggins), aided by his co-conspirator Sally-Anne Stubbins (Clare Buckfield). The pair are attempting to con the Generios system out of their money, and would have gotten away with it, had it not been for a mysterious alien cylinder with a booming voice that appears in orbit. The cylinder asks for “tribute” and then requests the three greatest treasures of the Generios system. Aided unwillingly by Banto and Sally-Anne, the Doctor and Mel sets out to retrieve these three treasures.
I’m glad that the writers revealed Banto and Sally-Anne to be fakes from the outset. Even before their masks slip when alone, they mistakenly refer to the STARDIS and psychic screwdriver. This allows for many gags to pop up from the first part, including which blue cuboid the STARDIS is modelled after (clue: it is not a police telephone box). When the alien cylinder appears in the sky, it felt like the central plot was racing along. When it became clear that most of this story is a collect-a-thon, I was praying that its quality would remain.
My prayers were answered, as the middle part of this story is the strongest. Mel and Banto were left on Generios 8 and the Doctor and Sally-Anne headed for Generios 14. This splitting of the group allowed for parallel story lines, which were managed very well. Generios 8 evokes the warehouse portion of Ikea, a large furniture storage unit with a treasure, Unit ZX419, located within. Mel and Banto are forced by the murderous Assembler bots to put together Unit ZX419 before they can take it. Meanwhile, Generios 14 is essentially a deserted quarry, with its only feature being a long running game-show called ‘The Feeblest Contestant’. Playing the game-show is a super computer called Mentos, another one of the treasures. The Doctor and Sally-Anne must find a question that Mentos can’t answer to take it off the planet. Both of these scenarios felt so vibrant and contained many excellent puns and jokes.
Once the two treasures have been obtained, the quartet reunite and head to Generios 15. There, a huge diamond is guarded by what I picture is a giant Jelly Baby… which then eats the Doctor. Once the Doctor has been ‘released’ from the Jelloid’s stomach, it proceeds to complain about a delivery. Honestly, the section on Generios 15 might be my favourite out of the three excursions. As a result, the twist ending back on Generios 1 feels so sudden and anti-climactic. I’ve come around on this and think this choice is a great parody of collect-a-thon stories that play it straight. I have mostly spent this section talking about what happens as the events which play out are so absurd. Overall, the plot feels very Doctor Who, and the pacing never really drops, even during the hunt for the treasures. It is the perfect plot for this lighter story that allows the characters and the humour to come to the fore.
Character
“So…Doctor. You travel through space and time, yes?”
“That’s right…”
“Meet a lot of interesting people, do you?”
“Well…yes, I…”
“Then it’s a shame some of them couldn’t be here instead of you. Please return to your seat. You have been defeated by Mentos. You are the feeblest contestant, goodbye.”
The Questioner admonishing the Doctor for failing to defeat Mentos
For such an episodic narrative, the characterisation of both primary and minor characters are judged very well. Not only is pretty much every character funny, but many have their own moment in the spotlight.
The story opens to a monologue from a caricatured dictator as he boasts about his control. Mel’s “Oh Doctor” hilariously brings an abrupt end to Colin Baker’s speech. It seems that he was trying to get into the mindset of his enemies during a game of Monopoly. Colin Baker is on great form here and his Doctor bounces off Mel, Sally-Anne and Banto with comedic ease. Even though Banto is not the Doctor, the pair still bicker and draw verbal blows over their appearances and clothing. Baker’s incredulous delivery of the line “FAN?!” when Banto calls his Doctor this, was a very funny change for this character. His relationship with Sally-Anne is initially a one-sided flirtation and turns into a friendship. His kind acknowledgement of her being her Doctor’s companion, and her realisation of this, was a very sweet moment. Though I do agree that the Sixth Doctor looks like a warm teddy bear! Finally, when the Doctor turns the tables on Banto and impersonates him, complete with faux-Cockney accent, it was a delightful moment.
Much like Colin Baker, Bonnie Langford brings a great performance to Mel in this story. I’d even go as far as saying Mel is the perfect companion for The One Doctor. Her pluckiness and leadership comes to the fore when commanding the cowardly Banto, and her quick thinking prevents their probable deaths at the hands of the Assembler robots. Mel is also very funny here, with several standout moments. One of these is probably my favourite ever Mel moment. She gives a rousing speech to Banto about one Christmas in Pease Pottage, where her and her family dredged through eight feet of snow to perform a show for local pensioners. Her epic tale is backed with music that evokes Christmas TV adverts. When Banto asks whether the pensioners enjoyed the show, the music dies, and Mel casually retorts with “No… none of them turned up.”
Christopher Biggins and Clare Buckfield also give great performances as Banto Zame and Sally-Anne Stubbins. Zame (a play on words of Biggins’ usual vocation of Panto Dame) initially seems conniving and a match for the Doctor, only for him to devolve into a cowardly, pathetic mess who needs Mel to literally hold his hand. His fate, though a left-turn for the story, feels right for a character who simulated being the Doctor. Sally-Anne is rather more interesting to me. Initially she assists in Banto’s scam, complete with a fake “Oh Doctor” voice (which she thinks is subtle). As the story progressed, Sally-Anne showed additional layers, opening up to the Doctor about her tragic and pain-filled backstory. She was capable of showing compassion too, notably when comforting the Jelloid. Her honorary companion status felt earned, and I do think it is a shame we haven’t seen her character return.
The one-off characters seen on end of the worlds in the Generios system have their own unique brand of humour. The alien in the cylinder yuks it up with his use of time measurements that no one else understands. The Assembler robots are an obvious reference to Daleks with their battle cry of “Dis-assemble them… Dis-assemble them!” Their love of furniture is also a very nice touch, as is their threat to Mel and Banto of “Prepare to meet your manufacturers”. The Questioner is a pitch perfect impersonation of The Weakest Link host Anne Robinson (over three years before Bad Wolf). Finally, the Jelloid is oddly relatable for a organism made of jelly, especially their complaints about the unhelpful expected delivery dates that courier services give!
This story’s characters are well suited to its lighter tone, and there are several good voice performances throughout the cast, including from Baker and Langford.
Listening Experience
“But you don’t get the same effect with audio. People want to actually see the monsters.”
Banto Zame
The sound design in this story, both diegetic and non-diegetic, perfectly compliments the tone of each scene. When the TARDIS first lands on Generios 1, its materialisation is drowned out by triumphant music and loud cheering. Instinctively, I had a mental image of the end of Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace. Shortly after, the planet’s inhabitants start a conga line, and their vocals make me bop my head on every listen. They start chanting “We want the Doctor”, which can be heard in the background for the next couple of scenes. When the alien cylinder enters the planet’s orbit, the sound alone really conveys how overwhelmingly large and imposing it is. With just a few sound choices, Generios 1 feels more alive than many planets visited in this series.
The sound also actively makes this audio book funnier with little flourishes. The noises the STARDIS makes as it ‘dematerialises’ are perfect for what it is disguised as. When Mel and Banto present Unit ZX419, there are two uses of “ta da”, as though the scene cut to a shot of the unit being under a spotlight. And the dramatic chimes the Doctor and Sally-Anne hear perfectly evoke the game show being parodied.
Additionally, further personality are given to the one-off or secondary characters through the use of sound. Some are given their own little jingle, such as Banto and Sally-Anne’s mischievous synthesizer track, whilst others have modulated voices. The laugh the Assembler robots have make me chuckle every time. The booming voice of the cylinder is powerful, which makes its little gasp when the Doctor kisses Sally-Anne hilarious. As for the Jelloid, it has both a very funny performance by Matt Lucas, and a modulated voice which evokes its slow yet gentle nature. It even has a song, which effectively breaks the fourth wall, given no other character is around to hear it.
Breaking the fourth wall is something this story does on a few occasions. For context, The One Doctor was released in December 2001 and was considered a Christmas release. As a result, there are two epilogue scenes that directly speak to the viewers at home. The first, of the Doctor and Mel celebrating Christmas in the TARDIS, is completed with the Doctor wishing everyone at home “a very Merry Christmas”. The second is an extended version of the Weakest Link segment, before both voice actors give up and “Mentos” says goodbye to all at home. These feel like the perfect non-standard ending to a story which is anything but standard Doctor Who.
Finally, the third part opens with the alternative Delaware version of the Doctor Who theme song. This rarely used piece was on the overseas print of the TV story Carnival of Monsters. Much like that story, The One Doctor has a lighter tone, especially at the start of Part Three. I think that choice perfectly complimented this tone and therefore was an inspired one. The sound design isn’t always perfect; the mixing is off at the Part One cliff-hanger, making the Doctor’s line inaudible. Apart from this, I’d say the use of sound is near perfect. Not only does it compliment the scenes, but it actively makes them more dramatic or funny. I commend the sound designers for doing a great job in this story.
Final Thoughts
The One Doctor is anything but your standard Doctor Who story. Though it is essentially just a collect-a-thon that masquerades as a multi-Doctor story for all of five minutes, it is a triumph. Its brilliant writing, aided by some excellent character moments and use of sound design, makes this a joyful listen. This story made me laugh more than any other Big Finish audio adventure to date. It’s also full of heart, perfect for a story initially released in time for Christmas. In short, this is one of the best Doctor Who audio books I have heard to date.
Ratings
Plot: 4/5
Character: 4.5/5
Listening Experience: 4.5/5
Overall: 4.5/5
Next Time – Invaders from Mars
Hallowe’en 1938.
A year after a mysterious meteorite lit up the skies of New York state, Martian invaders laid waste to the nation. At least, according to soon-to-be infamous Orson Welles they did. But what if some of the panicked listeners to the legendary War of the Worlds broadcast weren’t just imagining things.
Attempting to deliver Charley to her rendezvous in Singapore 1930, the Doctor overshoots a little, arriving in Manhattan just in time to find a dead private detective. Indulging his gumshoe fantasies, the Doctor is soon embroiled in the hunt for a missing Russian scientist whilst Charley finds himself at the mercy of a very dubious Fifth Columnist.
With some genuinely out of this world ‘merchandise’ at stake, the TARDIS crew are forced into an alliance with a sultry dame called Glory Bee, Orson Welles himself and a mobster with half a nose known as ‘The Phantom’.
And slowly but surely, something is drawing plans against them. Just not very good ones…
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Did you enjoy The One Doctor if you have listened to it? Would you like to see Banto and Sally-Anne return in some form? Which jokes made you laugh the hardest?
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